how to write anything at all

I’ve had a bit of writer’s block recently. So here’s a mediocre writer’s guide on how to write mediocre stuff.

Credentials:
I’ve hung around people for a lot of my life.
Also my cat, to be fair to him.

So this isn’t really facts. It’s thievery.

Right — so start with a mood board.

I’m messing. But I’ll level with you, step one isn’t groundbreaking.

First, grab the idea. Don’t trust yourself to remember it later. Okay fine, sometimes you will. I try to use my notes app. I saw Maxi Jazz doing this for lyrics when I was recording the E-Type Boys and it stuck with me.

That guy pounded beers all day long and still wrote ideas down.

I’m drawn to these little pseudo-philosophical things people close to me come out with. One time I wrote a blog on ‘What even is acceptance?’ Can’t even remember who originally said that or when.

The important part is catching the thought before you dilute it with self-doubt.

Got an idea? Nice. Grab a drink, and write the bones of it like you were five. Every single thought that comes into your head. Don’t even try to make sense. Just blurt it out. This isn’t about writing well, it’s about not thinking about how you’re coming across.

I’ve popped what this post looked like in the footnotes if you’ve got no imagination.¹ If this is a journal entry I guess you can stop now.

Once it’s all out, flesh it out as much as you can. I usually go way overboard here. Splurge a bit, it’s fine. If it doesn’t even make sense yet, even better. You’ll naturally feel which parts are doing good work and which bits need clarity.

Add in some personal examples if you can. There’s no need to spill everywhere. Just try to prove you lived the thought, I hope you did. It’ll help a reader relate, and ideally make you reflect on why you wrote the piece in the first place.

You might’ve sensed there’s a bit of sarkiness in this one. You can pick a tone depending on the topic, that’s part of the fun. And please, don’t talk your way out of a good idea at this point.

Onto the edit then, I think my flowery era is over. Cut it. Properly chop it down. Especially any lines you added to reassure yourself you’re not an idiot. You’re not an idiot, but if something exists mainly to make you feel articulate, it’s probably shit.

The other day, I read a piece on how Susan Sontag’s “On Photography”. And how she’s essentially an ignorant writer who assumes (generally negative) artistic intent. Right at the end of this beautifully researched essay, the writer undercut their own work by taking a swipe at social media artists and their intent.

What a waste. You can still be poetic or cutting, but be precise.

And yes, there will be sentences you need in the draft to make it all come together. Cut them later. Try not to censor yourself. Long does not always equal good. Good is subjective anyway.

I should know — I dated an editor for four years.

When you think you’re done, read the whole thing out loud. I’m actually kidding. I never do this. It would kill me. But if a sentence sounds crap out loud (even in your head voice), it is.

Then publish it. Share it. Or don’t, if it’s just for you.

After all that, forget it. Whatever you do, don’t read it through other people’s eyes. That’s actually the only hot takeaway. It’s cliche, but do it for yourself first.

Now, wait for a sentence someone says without thinking. That’s usually where the next idea starts.